When I was first diagnosed with Lung Cancer, I never said that I had "Lung Cancer". I kept saying that I had a tumor in my lung. And it was cancerous. I had a hard time saying that I actually had Lung Cancer. I had a tumor in my lung. That's how I broke the news to people. I think it made me less scared. And perhaps I thought that it sounded less scary to other people.
But the fact of the matter is that right now I am in remission for Lung Cancer. Remission. I'm not cured. It can come back. The reality of the situation is that I have a 40% to 50% chance of surviving beyond 4 years. It may be better than that. I like to think so and my doctor says it probably is considering my age... but for the next 4 years, you'll forgive me if I'm a bit jumpy.
I just made my appointments for my 6 month check. I'll have another full-body CT Scan and blood work done at the end of May. Then I see my Oncologist in early June. I'm sure I'll be fine. Yes I still cough like crazy, and my back hurts, and I have cancer fatigue, and brain fog, and all of that, but I chalk that up to recovering from everything I went through the past year. Not anything new to worry about. At least that's how I stay half sane.
I haven't written about this stuff in a long time. There's a lot to say actually, if I want to be totally honest. But I don't think it's the right time. Basically I've changed, I'm a different person. I don't know if the old me will ever come back and I'm still trying to figure out who the new me is.