What were your childhood dreams? What did you want to be when you grew up?
I think these questions or their answers stay with you all your life in some form or fashion. I've been thinking about mine recently. What were my childhood dreams?
My first memory of what I wanted to be was an Italian. I think because I liked spaghetti. Then for some reason I wanted to be a dentist. This is still a mystery. Maybe because I went to one. Those were preschool thoughts.
When I started to seriously think about it, as seriously as a child does, there was a space theme. Pretty common for someone born in the sixties ('69). I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to go to the moon or walk in space or anything as long as it was out of our atmosphere. Then I wanted to be an aerospace engineer. One of those guys that sat in mission control smoking Kool Cigarettes or pipes pushing buttons and speaking into headsets. I thought that might be a back way to get to space. Then I had dreams of becoming an astronomer. If I couldn't go to space, then perhaps I could stare at it every night. I'm realizing now that I had a tendency to get more and more practical for some reason.
Star Wars, Close Encounters, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and E.T. changed my life. I wanted to make movies. I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to work for Industrial Light and Magic. I needed to be a part of that. I needed to make my own magic. Those films were so wonderful. ILM was an obsession. I drew sketches of ships. I made models and masks, I studied storyboards. I loved "making of" documentaries and books. Motion control photography, go-motion animation, steadycams, blue screens, sound effects. I told myself that I wanted to act and I'd become an actor by working behind the scenes, but really I wanted to be on a crew. I wanted to pull the lens or troubleshoot an action sequence.
I finally decided that I should be a cinematographer. I'd go to film school and study Nestor Almendros or Gordon Willis or Haskell Wexler or Michael Ballhaus or even Barry Sonnefeld. But the Internet got in the way and here I am.
Here is a list of some of my childhood dreams:
1. Go into space
2. be a baseball player/hit a homerun/do something with baseball
3. Work for ILM or George Lucas/Make a special effects movie
4. Be in a band
5. Live in Europe
6. Invent something
7. Be an artist
8. Be an actor
9. Join a motorcycle gang
10. Be an astronomer
I had others. Some were more fleeting. But many are still with me. Sometimes I wonder why I can't or am not doing any of them. Are we told to forget our childhood dreams? Are we told to grow up? Is that what's expected?
I live across the street from a country firehouse. It's a training station as well. Right now I'm looking over and seeing the new recruits gathered and learning about whatever it is they learn. I wonder how many of them wanted to be a "fireman". I wonder how many of them are fulfilling their childhood dreams. I hope all of them. That would be cool.
Not in any particular order...
1. Get a chainsaw
2. Take down mister product done.
3. Fix the garage roof
4. Go to Vipassana Santa Cruz
5. Cut down or cut out caffeine, sugar, pastries, meat, and other bad things (fatblog?)
6. Walk or ride my bike two or three times a week
7. Write my book.
8. Do the Santa Cruz stuff
9. One thing, one thing, one thing
10. Keep working hard
12. Play with my kids
13. Do the right financial things
14. Do the other right things
15. Watch Do The Right Thing
As you know, I often use this blog as a brain dump. Stuff that's on my mind or things that I want to work out, you know. I just start a post and write. I don't always know where it's going.
One of the things I'm thinking about is taking down Mister Product. It's fun, but also a distraction. I can do product posts here when I feel like it. I've done that before, so why not? I also want to see Swedelife grow. If I'm going to keep it, it needs to take off. So far the traffic is steady, but not really going anywhere. So I think that in order to have it blossom, I'd have to start posting songs from other artists. Bands that aren't part of the "collective". I don't do these things to entertain myself. It costs too much for that to be the case, so the blogs need to at least pay for themselves.
Another thing I want to do is concentrate more on the one thing thing. Either for me or for my work. Part of the process is standing firm and saying no as much as possible. Being a strong filter for bullshit is key.
Simplifying ones life is way more difficult than it seems. We are trained to fill every moment of day with something, anything, everything. The radio needs to be on, a computer in the lap, the tv on, the phones, books, noise. Our minds race with input. Removing one thing means that the void left over needs to be filled. We are consumers. We consume. For some unreasonable reason we must constantly feed ourselves with stuff. I think I'm more guilty than anyone. But you probably feel the same about yourself. That's usually how it goes.
When I was consulting for Sears during the last millennium, I asked to watch their sales training videos to get a better idea how to translate their philosophy to an online experience. There was lots of great information presented, but one thing stuck out. They said that the most important thing you can do in life is take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others, let alone your career? I'll never forget that. This means that you must minimize distractions and then the time you have to do things for yourself first. Health first, well being, mindfulness, finances, then family, then career. You know all this. We all do. But do you do it? Do I? I've been floating in and out of this mindset for what seems like forever. For so long now that there's no way I could allow myself to say that I'll ever do it. At least not to an extent that will seem right. If I do it, I will do it privately.
There now, my brain is sufficiently dumped. Thanks for indulging me.
You never know what might happen in life. I drive highway 17 every day and there's spontaneous combustion... so I thought I'd jot this down while I still have my wits about me.
My first choice would be for these to be played by my friends who are musicians... but if not, then just get them off the machine. This is not in any particular order and subject to change...
So I've been slowly losing my hearing the past few years. I don't talk about it much, but it's just something I have to deal with. Genetics + lots of Sonic Youth, Einstürzende Neubauten, and the like. I've noticed it getting a little worse lately. It's very subtle. I have to have people repeat themselves more often.
I always felt that technology would catch up with the problem, and it probably will. New hearing aids will be some kind of permanent implanted chip or something... that's cool. I just have one request to the person inventing it. Put in a mute button.
